Lithuania: what the crap (or not) is this? (Part Two)

So, here it is. Since I've translated it, I added my own comments, where something isn't that true. It's a sarcastic article, so don't forget that.


Geography
Lithuania is a marine country. (actually, it isn't....). Its sea border is twice as long as Belgium's (Not really, it's about 20 km longer.... :DDD). Lithuania's marine fleet is 260 times smaller than Belgium's (see Economics). The capital of Lithuania isn't Riga, as you think, but Vilnius, WHICH IS NOT IN RUSSIA.

People
Lithuanians divide themselves in two categories: "Beetroots" (a kind of plant) and "Elite".
There's also the third category forming - "Brussels sprouts". (About that, it's a bit hard to get, you have to be Lithuanian to understand, actually.:DD)
During the Olympic Games, all the Lithuanians solidly cheer for their national basketball team.

National character
A true Lithuanian would tell every foreigner around about how bad is to live in Lithuania and that Lithuanians are losers and Lithuania is ruled by thieves.
All the Lithuanians who attain 18 require for a nationality written in their passport.
The older Lithuanian is, the more he believes in fairytales (see Language)

Sport
If a Lithuanian isn't a high-class basketball player, well, then, at least he is the expert of this sport. Speaking about basketball for Lithuanians is probably the same as for English people to speak about weather. It's a ritual, pretty close to catholic liturgy. (see Religion).
Artistic flying under the bridges is the second favourite sport in Lithuania. One Lithuanian can fly very good, the others - drink to him.
No Lithuanians can play baseball, but many of them are good at hitting with the baseball stick (or whatever it is :DDD).

Kitchen
In Lithuania, you can get a delicacy that is raaarely met in the rest of Europe - a special pig's subcutaneous fat which is a bit numb from the chimney's smoke. The locals call it "lašiniai" (there isn't even a proper translation from this. At least "spare tyre")
There's a rule in Lithuania - a good kitchen is a rich kitchen.
Lithuanian's don't care about healthy food, so their meals are mostly made out of natural products.
Men are the best cooks in Lithuania. Women are cooking in Lithuania.

Cities and towns
There are several towns and cities in Lithuania, and also Kaunas. (see Kaunas).
Almost all the male citizens can open ground with an ancient plough, pulled by horses and cut the grass with a scythe and almost the females can milk the cow with their hands.

Darius and Girėnas syndrom
Lithuanians are into start every work/job effectively and end it up badly or leave it undone. It's a frequent situation in sports and politics.

Roads
Very good and even absolutely bad. There are some highways in the capital city that lead to nowhere. There are also very good roads, but without a horizontal marking.
But local people are good without that (see Traffic)

National idea
To have a boss (see National character)

Religion
Lithuanians are the last pagans of Europe. Even if now they are saying Lithuania is St. Mary's Land, you can see traces of paganism everywhere. A lot is said when Lithuanians think their national religion is basketball and they are adoring a several idols. An idol is usually dressed with a basketball player outfit. The Great idol of Lithuania is Sabas (Sabonis, google it).

Inheritance
There are three inheritances in Lithuania. First - all the buildings which were not destroyed in regular wars. Second - famous past. Third - infamous past. The last type of inheritance is top secret, thanks to the society. It is often loved by people.

Kaunas
The most Lithuanian city. Its citizens like to listen to Russian pop mostly.

Traffic
It is a matter of honour to not follow any inhibitory or restrictive traffic signs. Traffic police is suspecting the poele who follow all the traffic rulles and are very polite. For those who don't require the receipt get veery big discounts for the penalties - 50 to 90 percent. You must negotiate about the size of discount.  

Architecture
There is a very popular method in Lithuanian architecture - architectural hills. Firstly, city is being, hm, builded by the buildings (captain Obvious strikes again), than, in average of about 50 years is being bombed and from the buildings which weren't bombed became those architectural hills. But since last bombing was about 60 years ago, people started to create artificial hills.

World-wiew
There are two world-wiew systems in Lithuania right now, and actually, their followers don't get along that good. So the systems are: a) to do not litter; b) to do everything to pick up the rubbish. The followers of both the systems are doing very bad.

News media
Lithuanian news media is very "objective"
Every single communicative implement (I mean, newspapers, TV, etc etc etc) are presenting their versions of every event here.

Economics
Lithuanians don't make cars. Lithuanians get the most of money by exporting cars to Russia - a giant in car industry.

Language
Even how surprised you are, Lithuanians speak Lithuanian, not Russian.
Lithuanian language is veeery ancient, so is most suitable for telling stories and/or fairytales.

Countryside
The more Lithuanian goverment is paying no regard at simple ecomomic logics, the better rustics live.

Art
The most popular object of Lithuanian fine arts is so called Cross. He is mostly made from wood and represents worried God. Foreign experts, who examined Cross' face are saying that since the admittion of Christianity Lithuanians have been having digestive troubles.

So. That's the article. Sorry guys if you didn't understand something; I am not so good in English. So feel free to ask, I'll try to explain. c:


Rūga~*

Lithuania: what the crap (or not) is this?

Hi guys~

So. To begin wih, I actually strted to chat with many foreigners this summer. And no wonder they were asking where am I from (if you didn't read the previous article or you have Alzheimer's, I am from Lithuania.). And when I answered, many people just said 'What is this country?' or 'Where is it?'. Well, actually, it would be waaay easier to just google it. The Mighty Internet, for Shenron's sake. But since some of you don't understand what do I mean (how is it even possible?!) or Google made you even more confused, then here it is, my own article about Lithuania, my native country.

So. Lithuania is in the centre of the Europe (exact centre; well at least one of maybe 10 others, but, according to French nerds, this one is official (YAYYYYY, WE ARE FAMOUS.)). It has 65 200 square kilometers (about 25 173 square miles. METRICSYSTEMRULZ.) of area (small-ass, but seems like there are at least 10 more countries as small as this one in Europe, so, not that bad.). Anyway, our capital city is Vilnius, it's also the biggest city here. There are about 3 million people here (the number is fastly decreasing, many people are afraid of this, because of stupid reasons like a song called "Three Millions", which is like, our unofficial anthem and also a sport anthem. How he hell should we sing tht song if here will only be 2 millions of us left?, blah blah blah.)


OUR PEOPLE JUST LOVE BASKETBALL. It's like, our second religion.  Eeeveryone who doesn't play basketball, is a professional expert of this game. can't say we're bad at this; f.e. two years ago, our national team took 3rd place in FIBA World Championship (if you're retarded, then GOOGLE IT.). Last year, our national team of young basketballers (18-19 years old) took he first place in FIBA U19 World championship. Last autumn, Lithuania was the counry of FIBA European Championship. So yess, we're no bad at this.

I'm not gonna talk about our goverment, parliament and any other shit that rules Lithuania (except of the President; she's a kick-ass woman.). Just for you to know, I don't like them at all.

Weather here is kinda shitty. its actually full of snow now, which I was waiting for at least two months. But now I hate it and want spring. When spring comes, I will want summer. Then I will want cooler summer, because it will be too hot (or vice versa). I never want autumn, because I hate autumn. And it happens every fucking year of my life....... So, the summers are too hot or too cold, winters are cold, springs are probably the best and autums are WET. Raining almost every day. .____.

So a little bit of that..... Btw, I found a funny article about Lithuania. I'll post it soon (as soon as I translate it to English.)



Rūga*~

Um. So. Hi.

Just for you to know, this is like. My third blog. And I reaaaaaaaaaaaaaaally hope it will be alive, unlike the other two.

So, hi. I am Rūga, or Rugii, or Rugileeeh. Call me as you want. I am 15 years old, and, well. I live in Lithuania. It's a small country in the middle of Europe, and if you don't know it, just gosh. Fucking google it.

Anyway, speaking about me, I am cheerful. Even if my mood swings every 5 minutes, I'm still trying to be cheerful.

I am also a holic. I mean, I am musicaholic, knitaholic, drawholic, Dragonballholic, chemistryholic, sleepaholic, movieholic, et cetera, et cetera.

Well, as you already understood, I love Dragonball. Well, Dragonball Z and Dragonball GT, but still, same shit.  Tell me what you want, but this anime. Um. It's just, I first saw it when I was six and for three more years, I was watching it, trying not to miss any episode and I loved it and I lived with it. It's like something I couldn't imagine my childhood without.

I also like other animes, but we'll talk about it later.

I DON'T READ HOMESTUCK BECAUSE IT SUCKS. I am serious, maybe it gets better later, but I'm not so patient to read fucking 500 pages about nothing and get interested only after them! I'd rather read Cat's Cradle again (And. It's my favourite book, btw.).

So, I can't live without music. Silence is disturbing me. And music is an amazing way to ignore the world, by the way. Even if you already knew that. My favourite genres are vocal trance, rock and soundtracks/themes.  I also sing in school's choir, which, btw, is amazing.:DDDD

So, I also love drawing and pixeling. I mostly draw my own characters or some other shit, mostly people. And I pixel patterns. Freakin amazing thing.

I am an attention whore, and I know it. So, as you understood, I love attention. Captain Obvious strikes again.

My future goals are to write a book, to become a forensic expert, to act somewhere (movie, pleaaaase.) and to voice act someone. That'd be amazing.


So, any questions/ Ask in comments, thank you.

Rūga*~

What.

~!